Two Words, Maybe Three by Steve Trembley

Being a medical interpreter, is not an easy job.


But I loved interpreting, for Melissa, Josh, and Rob.

And Ty was great, and Sally too, when I got in a bind.

But there are just two topics, that always blow my mind.

Two subjects that don’t come up too much, at least around my house.

Subjects farmers don’t discuss, unless we’re talking cows.

Two particular topics, are hard for me to do.

I’m speaking of gynecology, and yes urology too.

The first is gynocologia, or gynocologo.

The second is urologia, or urocolgo-go.

I can’t pronounce them correctly, or say what they’re about.

The only thing I really know is, you cannot live without.

Sometimes I get frustrated, or some say even lost.

When dealing with these subjects, my Spanish gets criss-crossed.

Each part has very different names, and does what must be done.

You have to know each one of them, and never forget one.

And how they work, and what they do, from the front to the behind,

And act like you’re an expert. It’s like playing ping-pong. Blind.

I’m like Christopher Columbus, who sailed the ocean blue.

Who thought he was in India, but didn’t have a clue.

We took a little bus ride, that could have ended badly.

But compared with discussing pregnancies, I would have traded gladly.

Embarrassing is putting it mildly, I can’t begin to say.

The Kaegle exercises confuse me to this day.

They need to squeeze what I don’t have, and do what I can’t do.

That’s time to get a lady translator, although they’re very few.

When a lady says “Estoy preparada”, I think “Prepared for what?”

Has she prepared a chicken, and put it in a pot?

Oh wait! There is another one, that drives me up a wall.

I’m referring to the prostata, or prostate to you all.

I’ve never actually seen one. It’s hidden out of view.

I’m not sure if I have one, but my doctor says I do.

And being deaf doesn’t help. I know that’s hard to believe.

People have to yell 3 times, before I hear “Hey Steve”!

So thank you for your patience. Helping you was grand.

My wife will probably kill me, but I hope you’ll understand.

Two Words, Maybe Three